Taming your crocodiles Tune into Owl FM learn leadership depth

Taming yur crocodiles Tune into Owl FM learn leadership depthTaming yur crocodiles Tune into Owl FM learn leadership depthHow do we really grow as human beings and as leaders?Michelangelo was once asked how he created the beautiful sculpture of David in Florence. He responded I saw an angel in the stone and carved to tischset it free. Similarly, when we truly grow as human beings, something beautiful comes to the foreground as we carve away what no longer serves us. What is looking from behind our eyes matures, and as a result, the way we landsee the world and how we interact with it expands as well. You could say that we are gaining leadership depth, as we scrub our hausintern landscape freeing ourselves from beliefs, thoughts, and feelings that no longer serve us so that our deepest truths can come to the surface.Leadership depth complements leadership breadth. Developing breadth is about learning a technical skill like finance, project management or marketing. Breadth and depth are both important to be effective as leaders. Still, from what I have seen, true leadership development is more about learning depth. Acquiring breadth by honing a technical skill is certainly helpful. Yet it is not sufficient to become an effective leader.Depth is about our consciousness how we see things and experience things, our belief systems, and how our intern landscape works. The more depth we have, the more were able to work adaptively with complex challenges while staying true to ourselves what we stand for at our core.How do we cultivate leadership depth? And why should we care about it arent we too busy to work on our depth?Lets start with the second question. Think about some of the challenges we as leaders are currently facing. According to Gallup, employee engagement hovers around 30% (in the U.S.) many people come to work without their heart being fully in it stress and burn-out are at an all-time high the pace of change is accelerating 88% of the companies in the Fortune 500 from 1955 were no longer on the list in 2014 information availability is exponentially increasing and a recent Pew survey found that 35 percent of adults say the Internet, email and cell phones have increased their hours worked.Einstein said that problems cannot be resolved from the same level of consciousness that created the problem. When we try to approach our current challenges from our current level of consciousness our current level of depth we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. We keep doing and thinking the same thing while expecting different results. Now, more than ever before or so it seems we need to cultivate leadership depth and put it to good use.How do we create great depth? It all starts by taking an honest look at ourselves, parteicularly at the self-talk in our head. When we tune into our self-talk consciously, we may discover some patterns we can see them as radio stations that are broadcasting frequently. They are broadcasting messages that mold our thoughts and feelings.To increase leadership depth, we need to be able to recognize our inner radio stations, so we can consciously choose whether we keep tuning into them, or whether we start listening to other ones or no stations altogether.Having studied my own internal radio talk and that of thousands of leaders that I have coached over the years, I noticed 7 radio stations that have many listeners. These radio stations operate like static they obscure our inner silence which is more about truth, courage, and compassion.These are The Safe One, The Us vs. Them One, The In Control One, etc. Youll recognize the acronym SUCCESS. You can also think of them as identities we take on.Radio Station/IdentityCore Message I should Safe be richUs vs. Them please othersControl do it perfectlyCertain stay in my comfort zoneEssential dominate othersSapient know everythingSpecial be the oneWhen we listen to ansicht messages often, we may start believing that they are tr ue. And, before we know it, we base most if not all of our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, opinions, choices, and actions on them. We can live our whole lives based on these radio-induced hallucinations without ever realizing it, as these stations are playing their static non-stop in our heads. They become the background noise that runs our lives.You may notice a correlation between Maslows hierarchy of needs (survival, relations, self-esteem, etc.) and these stations. And when you study the 7 stations closely, you may discover that each of them is broadcasting fear I have to be safe or else , I have to belong or else , I have to be in control or else , I have to be special or else Neuroscience helps us understand that these fear-based radio stations are broadcasting from our primitive reptilian brain whose primary function is our physical and egoic survival. Because they are reptilian and fear-based, we also call these radio stations crocodiles.To explore how our crocodilian radio sta tions operate, I will share a part of my life story. As I do, I invite you to see if you can spot the crocodiles in it, and perhaps also reflect on your own life and the potential crocodiles that have been influencing it.I was born and raised in the North of the Netherlands on a farm with many more cows than people. I loved the land, the big views, the church steeples on the horizon, and the beautiful music I heard being played on the 17th-century church organ every Sunday. Unlike many of my friends and family, I wasnt interested in the cows, the farm work or the tractors. I often felt awkward that I didnt share their interests why were the people around me so excited by the number of liters of milk that a cow could produce each day? I just didnt get it. I sensed I was different and didnt belong there. Fortunately, I found a solution for my awkwardness I became an accomplished French Horn player and a great student in school. As the talented one, I felt I could fit in again. I had found a role in my community and that was my specialness.And yet I never felt quite settled. My underlying mantra soon became, I have to get out of here as quickly as I can. And I did. I ended up in New York City in my early twenties. I still remember riding the Greyhound bus into the city from Washington DC, and just before we entered the Lincoln Tunnel, I saw, for the first time, the awe-inspiring view of Manhattan the Hudson River and the skyscrapers, lit by the afternoon sun against a stark blue September sky. I still remember thinking, I will make it to the top of one of these buildings as quickly as I can. Not as a tourist, but as a managing director, CEO or owner. And I did. I got part of the way there. I was elected one of the two youngest partners in the strategy consulting company I was working for, had a corner office on Lexington Avenue next to the Chrysler Building, was flying first class all over the world and thought I had it made.Not so fast, said life, You have a l ot to learn. Some seemingly strange things started to happen. At a holiday party, a colleague came up to me and said Hylke, you seem to be really good at what you are doing, but do you really like it? I thought that was a strange question. Yes, I love it, I responded, thinking, I dont really. What do work and joy have to do with each other? The farmers I grew up with didnt really love what they were doing, or so I thought. Work was about making moneyA few months later something else occurred. We were presenting the final recommendations of a strategy project we had been working on for a German pharmaceutical company on whether they should invest in one or more large asthma drug-trials. They had invested millions of dollars with my company and this was D-Day for our project. The project manager who reported to me came into my office an hour before the final presentation to the board and said Hylke, we have a problem. I cringed Ouch, thats really bad. Isnt our analysis bulletproof? Th e manager said, Hylke, the problem is you. You are the worst manager I have ever worked with and I will never work with you againI breathed a sigh of relief, thinking Thankfully the numbers are right, the client will be happy Criticism is something I had learned to deal with through a feedback course I had taken, and so I suggested to my colleague that we have a meeting to discuss his perspective when we were back in New York. Fortunately, our presentation went great. Unfortunately, I never worked with this manager again. Nor did I give the whole situation a second thought.Then it came time for performance reviews. I had always loved these As an A-student, I usually had gotten the top grades in school, and now in business, I was raking in the biggest bonuses and promotions. This time, instead of praising me, the Managing Partner said to me, Hylke, I will fire you, unless you completely change your behavior. No one in this firm wants to work with you anymore. I thought he was kidding . I had brought in way more money than my target that year. But hearing nobody likes to work with you anymore stung.When I thought about it some more, I thought I understood. I was smarter than my farmhands, who feared me, just like the farmhands I had observed as a boy. They were intimidated by their boss. No wonder my colleagues didnt like working with me. They were afraid of me like they should be The farmers I talked to prided themselves on running efficient farms by having their laborers follow their orders. Really, what did these guys know about running a farm? Thats why they were mere farmhands. I didnt say any of this. I wanted to keep my job. I said I would work on my behavior and hired a coach. I kept my job and not much changed, as I kept seeing myself as special and better than others.What crocodilian beliefs do you see that were running my life?As it turns out, life wasnt done teaching me. It wanted me to go deeper. Ironically, as I had been working on the asthma study for our client, I developed severe asthma. I managed my condition by using the strongest inhaler-medications I could find potential competitor products for the drugs my client was about to put on the market. Also, I developed pretty severe insomnia. I tried all the medications I could find, and nothing helped. Sometimes I wouldnt be able to sleep for 7 nights in a row. Going to bed at night became a nightmare. I panicked at the thought of having to get to sleep and not being able to. I would lie in bed, wide awake, and full of despair and pain totally lost.It was during one of these sleepless nights, that it hit me I couldnt go on like this. I had turned into a robot, completely obsessed with money and prestige. What had happened to the little boy who loved the fields, the church steeples, and who had wonderful friendships with many people in the village? My body had started to fall apart. My relationships werent working and I felt terrible. I was lost.That sleepless night I resol ved to make a drastic change. And with my mind made up, I started to look for a solution. During this quest, I discovered yoga and meditation, and with it, I connected with a whole new world that had been hidden from me for so long. I rediscovered sleep. After having meditated for about an hour, the cycle of insomnia broke, and I slept at last soundly for seven hours something that hadnt happened to me in years. Also, meditating I reconnected to a deep sense of joy, warmth, and compassion that I had sensed as a child and had completely lost touch with since.I became so enthralled by my new experiences that I almost became a monk. In the end, I didnt make that jump, and decided instead to serve as a coach, facilitator and writer to help people at work the place where the majority of us spend most of our waking hours connect with the love, compassion, and wisdom I began experiencing meditating (and eventually during my day-to-day activities away from the meditation cushion).Do any parts of this story sound familiar to you? And what crocodilian beliefs did you see shape this time of my life? Yes, all seven of them were active. Heres howSafe I wanted to be rich, which I now understand was a way for me to prove that I was worthy, insulating myself from the judgments I felt from my communityUs vs Them I wanted to please my dad by doing my job well and being the bestControl I wanted to do everything perfectly. And micro-managing others seemed to be a aya bet to stay in control and guarantee great outcomesCertain I wanted to play it safe. I felt I had to walk the path of my community by becoming a business person. Finding a less mainstream profession, going into something unknown was unthinkable for meEssential Afraid of losing my pole position at work, I tried to dominate everyone else and be above themSapient To dominate, I felt I had to know better than othersSpecial And I was still in my French Horn prodigy energy, playing the special one at work, the one who outshines everyone else, as a way to protect my place on the team.Do you recognize any of these crocodilian radio broadcasts? Do you tune into any of these in your life and leadership? Chances are you do, as they are not personal, but a part of our collective conditioning. We are blasted every day with messages that tell us to become rich, to be liked, to be perfect, to be special and to be in control of our lives. And this all starts when were very young when our minds are still very pliable. We internalize all the external noise and transform it into internal radio stations most of us end up listening to our whole lives without realizing it.Thats the bad news.The good news that we dont have to keep listening to Crocodile FM. The first step is to become aware that this static is playing in our heads. Naming our crocodiles, we tame them. By simply being aware that these radio stations are broadcasting in us and around us, we can choose to tune them out. How do we do this?Listening t o Crocodile FM doesnt feel good. We feel on edge, stressed out, and when we check in with ourselves more deeply, we may notice that we are not acting in integrity. We are not grounded in our authentic values our highest selves when we buy into the messages of Croc FM. Listening to Croc FM, we stop playing our own music.Listening to Crocodile FM, our relationships suffer people around us feel judged, excluded, used as a means to an end, or taken for granted. And we become less and less effective. Trying to be perfect, we focus on the short-term battles and lose the war. Having to be in control, we lose the heartfelt engagement of our teams and disempower them. Having to be the special one, we isolate ourselves and become obsolete as we lose touch with the needs of our environment.Taking an honest inventory of the costs of listening to Croc FM can help us fuel our resolve to change what we give our attention to. We can ask ourselves the Dr. Phil Question How is this working for me, listening to my crocodilian self-talk?We can choose to stop listening to these self-limiting stations. The less we listen to them, the less they tend to broadcast at some point they go out of business, as any radio station does that has no listeners. In neuroscience, this healing process is called neuroplasticity neurons that fire together, wire together. The more often we repeat a new thought, the more likely it is we will think the new thought in the future. The less often we think the old way, the less likely it is we will think the old way in the future.When we sense thatwere hooked in again to Crocodile FM, we can switch our inner dial, simply by asking Whos talking now, the owl or the crocodile? The owl stands for our deeper wisdom and compassion that comes through the heart and our prefrontal cortices. And when we still feel drawn to keep listening to our self-destructive self-talk, we can ask ourselves, How is this working for me?The more often we ask the question Whos tal king now, the owl or the crocodile? the more we tame our crocodiles. The more our crocodiles calm down, the more easily we start noticing the deeper owl wisdom that comes online as we make space for it. Try it out. Ask yourself right now for a challenge that you are facing Whos talking now, my owl, or my crocodile? And then ask How would my owl respond to this situation? See what becomes possible for you when you let go of the crocodilian static and tune more into your true self.Enjoy Owl Radio.Hylke schmied serves as a leadership coach and facilitator and leads the coaching organizations, Constancee and the Growth Leaders Network. His first book, Taming Your Crocodiles Unlearn Fear Become a True Leader, was released in May 2018 and was soon selected as one of Bloombergs 10 Best Books on Leadership in 2018. Through his ongoing collaboration between Constancee and Columbia Business School Executive Education, Taming Your Crocodiles has become the curriculum cornerstone for Hylkes sou ght-after online learning series, Leader as Coach.

5 smart tips that will help you impress people in any video interview

5 smart tips that will help you impress people in any video bewerberbewerbungsinterview5 smart tips that will help you impress people in any video interviewJob interviews can be stressful already - and then sometimes, to add to the nervousness, they happen over Skype. The interviewers impression wont depend just on your personality, but also in how well you present on video- which is a very different skill than being great in person.Video is a tough way to make a first impression, but a first impression it definitely is video interviews are likely to be the first step in a process, and will help determine whether you get a second interview.Thats why it pays to get it right. Weve written about how to look good on video before, and heres what youll need to keep in mind as you approach the interview strategically.Be expressiveA video interview may be the first interaction youve had with the company other than hitting Submit on the official application page.Being expressive and open can make all a difference. As emotive as you think youre being on camera,you might still be coming across as flat. Add some personal expression by remembering to smile, appear comfortable, confident and well-versed on both the company and what you bring to the table.Practice with a friend as you prepare for the interview so youre used to talking to someone else about your experience.Choose your space carefullyKeep the employers attention on you, not whats going on in the background.A Monster article features advice from Cheryl Palmer, owner ofCall to Careerand Michael Yinger, Aon Hewitts global lead for recruitment process outsourcing delivery, on getting your space ready.You may think the only thing the people on the other end of a video interview can see is your face, but they will see some of your surroundings too, Palmer says. The room that you are in should look neat and attractive and not be visually distracting. You also need to avoid any auditory distractions such as a barking dog or a crying child. Also be aya to turn off the ringers of all the phones in the area.Mistakes weve seen include video interviews recorded in a coffee shop with a very noisy background or in a bedroom with dirty laundry scattered on the floor, says Michael Yinger,Aon Hewitts global lead for recruitment process outsourcing delivery. Weve seen interviewees dressed in a robe and children playing in the vicinity. Weve also seen a partially clad spouse running behind the person recording the interview, the article says.As adorable as his daughter is, you probably dont be this person on a video conference call.Check your video and audio ahead of timeA video interview has technical elements that you have to set up and test beforehand. Making sure the video and audio are working is a basic requirement. Dont wait until the last minute to test the lighting, either.A Fast Company article provides advice from Adam Robinson, cofounder and CEO of hiring management software platform Hireology.O nce you know the platform youre going to use, be sure you practice using it before the actual interview. Whether its Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangout, or another platform, be sure its downloaded and operational on your computer. Load or login time may take longer for some than others and you dont want to be in a panicked scramble trying to figure it out in the minutes before your interview, the magazine advises.Timing is everythingA U.S. News World Report article sheds light on the important of pacing your interview.Much video interviewing happens on Skype or Google Hangouts, where connections may pause, cut out, or be slow. There will be strange gaps that would never exist in a one-on-one conversation. Make sure your interviewer has completely finished their question before you start.Time is of the essence. Be mindful of how long you take to respond to questions, whether in a two-way interview or a one-way interview. Many video interview tools have time limits for each question so be precise, but answer questions with sufficient detail. There is no do-over in an interview, it says.Come fully dressed and pick the right color of clothingDont just professionally dress your top half. A suit jacket with boxers or yoga shorts is just not going to cut it.What if construction unexpectedly starts outside and you have to move to another room? Dont give the company any chances to see you in clothes you wouldnt wear to work there. Good clothes will also help you get more in the zone for the interview.Business Insider points out what not to wear during a virtual interview- including white.Whites are brighter on camera and may overpower your face, making eye contact virtually impossible. Colors that look best on camera include deep colors such as navy, and solids should always be selected over prints, the article says.

5 Must-Know Microsoft Word Formatting Hacks

5 Must-Know Microsoft Word Formatting Hacks5 Must-Know Microsoft Word Formatting HacksAbout to format a document in Microsoft Word? Dont overlook these steps that can streamline your work.By now youve picked up so many Microsoft Word tips, tricks andkeyboard shortcuts, you could probably teach a class. Yet, somehow, no matter how expert you become, there are always a few hidden gems left to discover.Laying out and formatting your documents is time-consuming and fiddly work, so the more secrets you learn, the better. To streamline your Word formatting and whip your pages into shapelike a pro, check out these fivelittle-known Wordhacks1. Insert anywhere?Youre staring at a leer Word document and you need to create a good-looking layout. No need to hit Return and Tab a dozen times to move the cursor around the page. Simply double-click anywhere and youre ready to insert text right there. If you already have your text prepared, paste it. If not, read on to learn how to add placeholder cop y.2. Prepare with placeholders?Did you know you can get documents looking immaculate even before you have final text?Using placeholder copy lets you do all your Microsoft Word formattingin advance, then replace the dummy text with the real thing when youre ready.To add random text in English, first decide how many paragraphs (x) and how many lines per paragraph (y) you want to add. Then type =rand(x,y) and press Enter. For example, =rand(2,5) instantly gives you two five-lined paragraphs to play with.To look like a real pro, try using the pseudo-Latin lorem ipsum dummy text that designers prefer to use. Its less distracting than actual words but still has the same distribution of letters. Just replace =rand with =lorem.3. Lets stay togetherSome words belong together. For example, the last thing your boss wants to see is a line break in the middle of the companys name. You never have to worry about that again thanks to this next one in our lineup of Microsoft Word tips.Instead of an inserting a regular space between words, press Ctrl+Shift+space to get a non-breaking space. It looks exactly the same to the reader, but it permanently holds the words together for you. The same applies to Ctrl+Shift+- for non-breaking hyphens. (Mac users Replace Ctrl with Cmd.)4. Find and replace formattingFind and Replace isnt just for words. You can use the command to change all instances of Microsoft Wordformatting, too. For example, change bold to underlined, or red to blue. ??Use Ctrl+H to open the Find and Replace dialogue schachtel (Mac users Shift+Cmd+H). Delete any text in the Find box and then click More. (Mac users Click Advanced Find Replace.) Now use the Format option to choose and change any Microsoft Word formatting - from font and paragraph styles to tabs and language. Use one click on Replace All, and formatting throughout your document is fully updated.5. Always the same with AutoCorrect?Are you tired of pausing toitalicize the same reporttitle every time you m ention it? Use AutoCorrect to automatically format any frequently usedtext.First, select the text and format it (e.g., OfficeTeam 2014 Salary Guide). Now create an Autocorrect short code for it (e.g., ot2014sg). Access the Autocorrect dialogue box from the File menu at Options Proofing AutoCorrect Options (Mac users Tools AutoCorrect). Just type in your short code and click Add. Now, each time you type the code, it will be replaced with the full, formatted text.These Microsoft Word tips and tricks should save you time and hassle. Dont keep them to yourself- share them withyour coworkers to make everyones jobs a little easier. And if you have any additional pointers, share them in the comments section below.Check back on the blog soon for additional tips when using Microsoft Office programs.Related Posts Microsoft Word Shortcuts 8 Tips Every Admin Should Know Excel Tips and Tricks Formatting Reports Using Pivot Tables 5 Ways to Save Time Using Excel Shortcut Keys

7 Clear Signs That Your Careers Going Well (That Have Nothing to Do With Your Salary)

7 Clear Signs That Your Careers Going Well (That Have Nothing to Do With Your Salary)7 Clear Signs That Your Careers Going Well (That Have Nothing to Do With Your Salary)Success means different things to different people.For many, accumulating wealth or power are definitive signs of achievement. For you, it may be as simple (or complex) as being happy.And although an attitude of continuous self-improvement reaps great rewards, its beneficial to stop every now and then and appreciate what weve already accomplished.With that in mind, here are seven unexpected signs that youre more successful than you think1. Youve Made Tons of ProgressWhen I was struggling to learn a language, a wise person once told me Dont think about how far youve got to go. Look back, and consider how far youve already come.This principle applies across our lives. Think about the version of yourself from five years ago. What experience have you collected? What lessons have you learned?The truth Youve come a long wa y.2. You Set Your Own PrioritiesYour business may elend be making millions, but you love what you do. Or, youve learned the invaluable lesson that money cant buy more time- so you spend as much of that time as you can with family and friends (or doing whats important to you).Establishing priorities is half the recipe for success. The other half is sticking to them.3. You Love to LearnYoure a voracious reader. You love to try new things. You dont mind making mistakes.Why? Because every new journey broadens your horizons and helps you to better understand yourself, others, and the world around you. Mistakes arent failures- theyre only more opportunities to learn.4. You Use Goals as Stepping StonesWe tend to measure success with the big things- graduating from school, earning our first promotion, even getting married.But its the small, behind-the-scenes goals that lead to the bigger accomplishments every passed test, every productive work assignment, getting past that horrid first date .All great successes begin with smaller ones.5. You Cultivate Good HabitsIts been famously said by Aristotle We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.You know how you get up early every morning? How about that fitness routine you stick to? Or the fact that you work hard to always arrive a little bit early?Reaching goals requires hard work and perseverance. But regardless of where youre trying to go, the right habits are helping you get there.6. You Strive to Be Emotionally IntelligentNone of us can perfectly control our emotions.But by working to identify your emotions, realizing the major role they play in your life, and using that understanding to inform your decision making, youre vastly more successful than you would be otherwise.7. You Havent Given UpOne of the biggest keys to success is persistence.So many people give up right before crossing the finish line, or just before reaching the goal theyve invested so much time and effort to achieve.B ut thats not you. Youre still here- day in, day out, moving forward, determined to leave it all on the table.And thats what makes you a success.More From Inc.This Is How Successful Entrepreneurs Spend Their Time6 Key Principles to Achieve Success7 Toxic Thoughts That Are Sabotaging Your SuccessPhoto of happy man on couch courtesy of Tetra Images/Getty Images.

8 unrealistic expectations smart people ignore

8 unrealistic expectations smart people ignore8 unrealistic expectations smart people ignoreYour expectations, more than anything else in life, determine your reality. When it comes to achieving your goals, if you dont believe youll succeed, you wont.Research from LSU shows that people who believe in themselves use more metacognitive functions than those who dont. This means that they use more of their brains and have more brainpower to solve problems. Metacognition is especially important for achievement as it ensures that you approach problems from many different angles and adapt your approach as needed.The tricky thing about your expectations is that they impact other people too. As far back as the 1960s, Harvard research demonstrated the power of our beliefs in swaying other peoples behavior. When teachers in the studies were told that certain (randomly selected) children were smart, those kids performed better, not only in the classroom, but also on standardized IQ tests.Indeed, we get the most out of other people when we believe in them. Research shows that this happens because when we believe in someone,we treat them better than people we think will fail,we give them more opportunities to succeed than we give those we think will fail,we give them more accurate, helpful feedback than we give others, andwe do more teaching because we believe its time well spent.Letting your doubts cloud your belief in someone (or something) practically ensures their failure. Medical professionals call this the nocebo effect. Patients who have low expectations for medical procedures or treatments tend to have poorer results than those who expect success, even with regards to well-established treatments. If a doctor uses a treatment with a clinically verified high rate of success but presents it in a negative light, the probability of a negative outcome increases.Your expectations shape your reality. They can change your life, emotionally and physically. You need to be extra careful about (and aware of) the expectations you harbor as the wrong ones make life unnecessarily difficult. Be especially wary of the expectations that follow - they give people all kinds of trouble.Life should be fairWeve all been told a million times (and likely told other people) that life isnt fair, but in spite of what we know about the intricacies of injustice, its a concept that doesnt quite sink in in practice. A surprising number of us subconsciously expect life to be fair, and we believe that any unfairness that we experience will somehow be balanced out, even if we dont do anything about it. If youre stuck in that mindset, its time to get over it. When something unfair happens, dont rely on outside forces to get you back on your feet. Sometimes there isnt any consolation prize, and the sooner you stop expecting there to be, the sooner you can take actions that will actually make a difference.Opportunities will fall into my lapOne of the most important things a person can do is stick his or her neck out and seek opportunity. Just because you deserve a raise, a promotion, or a company car, doesnt mean its going to happen. You have to make it happen. You have to put in the hard work, then go and get whats yours. If we limit ourselves to whats given to us, we are at the mercy of other people. When you take action, think what steps do I need to take? what obstacles are in my way and what do I need to do to remove them? and what mistakes am I making that take me away from my goals rather than toward them?Everyone should like mePeople have hang-ups, and that means all sorts of decent, kind, respectable people are not liked by (some) others, for no good reason at all. When you think that everyone should like you, you end up with hurt feelings when you shouldnt (you cant win them all). When you assume that people are going to like you, you take shortcuts you start making requests and demands before youve laid the groundwork to really understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. Instead of expecting that people will like you, focus on earning their trust and respect.People should agree with meThis one can be tough. Sure, you know what youre talking about, and for that reason, people should take you seriously, but expecting people to agree with you out of courtesy or because your ideas are so incredibly sound is another story. Something thats obvious to you might not be so to someone with different experiences and a different agenda, so stop being offended when people disagree with you, and stop assuming that there is only one right answer (yours). Instead, focus on how you can find solutions that give everyone what they need.People know what Im trying to sayPeople cant read your mind, and what youre trying to say is rarely what other people hear. You cant expect people to understand you just because youre talking- you have to be clear. Whether youre asking someone to do something without providing the context or explain ing a complex concept behind a big project, its easy to leave out relevant information because you dont think its necessary. Communication isnt anything if it isnt clear, and your communication wont be clear until you take the time to understand the other persons perspective.Im going to failAs Ive touched upon already, if you expect to fail, you stand a higher chance of creating the very outcome youre worried about. If you fail, accept that sometimes youll fail and sometimes youll succeed, but if you pursue an endeavor, believe with all your being that youre going to succeed in that endeavor. Otherwise, youll limit the chances of that happening.Things will make me happySure, things can make life more fun and comfortable in the short run, but they cant make you happy in the long run. Too many of us expect a future event (Ill be happy when I get that promotion) to make us happy, instead of looking more deeply into the real causes of our unhappiness. If you dont fix whats going on insi de, no external event or item is going to make you happy, no matter how much you want it to.I can change him/herTheres only one person in this world you can truly change - yourself - and even that takes a tremendous amount of effort. The only way that people change is through the desire and wherewithal to change themselves. Still, its tempting to try to change someone who doesnt want to change, as if your sheer will and desire for them to improve will change them (as it has you). You might even actively choose people with problems, thinking that you can fix them. Let go of this faulty expectation. Build your life around genuine, positive people, and avoid problematic people that bring you down.Bringing it all togetherBelieving that youll succeed really does make it more likely that you will. It also means that youll need to let go of some erroneous expectations that will only get in your way.This article first appeared on LinkedIn.

Resumetemplate Tips & Guide

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Toxic Employees How to Maintain Company Culture

Toxic Employees How to Maintain Company CultureWeve all had to deal with toxic employees in our work lives. These are the Debbie Downers who never seem to be happy no matter whats happening at the company. No inconvenience is too small to escape the criticism of these employees and no good news is big enough to lift their rechnerwolke of gloom.If you think toxic employees arent poisoning your hard-won company culture, you are unfortunately kidding yourself. A recent article on CNN stated that approximately 5 percent of your employees could be accounting for 90 percent of peoples work-related woes. Just like the old saying, its completely possible in a work setting for one bad apple to spoil the bunch.So what can you do to stop a few unhappy employees from turning your company culture gloomy? The first step is to know theres plenty you can do to maintain your organizational values even in the face of a toxic employee. You cant just throw in the towel and say theres no way to change so meones attitude. This might be true, but youve worked too hard to create an attractive company culture and employer brand to let a few grumps ruin your hard work.Here are some ways to maintain your company culture, even when toxic employees are bringing it downWatch Your Work EnvironmentThe last thing you want is for your your office to become a hostile work environment. To make sure this doesnt happen, keep an eye out for aggressive people in the workplace. In a hostile work environment, employees dont feel safe and certainly dont feel like the company is looking out for their best interests.Make sure toxic employees are bedrngnis also becoming office bullies. Pay attention to the employees who could fill up a swear jar with their coarse language and make sure to take every complaint of bullying seriously. Nothing will hurt your company culture faster than the hostility of your workers.Encourage Employee OutingsA great way to increase your employee morale is to get your team bondin g outside the office. Plan a monthly or bi-monthly corporate outing, and make sure to listen to the suggestions of your employees. Maybe your employees want to do a day at the park or perhaps they are passionate about volunteering.Whatever your workforce would enjoy the fruchtwein, try to plan fun stress-busting trips centered around these activities. Your toxic employee might not show up, but the bonding opportunity for the rest of your team will build employee morale.Encourage Your Most Motivated EmployeesYour fruchtwein motivated employees are also your brand ambassadors and company culture defenders. Dont ignore these workers or leave them in the lurch. In your dash to improve the attitude of your most toxic employees, you might just be missing out on opportunities to reward your workers who show up to work smiling every day.Reward good work, supply feedback, and motivate your most dedicated employees to work hard and reach high. As a bonus, the rest of your workers will see tha t it pays to be a highly motivated superstar instead of a sad sack Debbie Downer.Focus on Fit in HiringThe best way to avoid toxic employees pulling down your company culture is not to hire them in the first place. While this can be easier said than done, you can avoid hiring the wrong people if you really focus on fit in the interview process.During the video interview, really drill down on what makes the candidate a good fit for your organization. Does the candidate like order or thrive in chaos? Do they like to really focus on one task or wear a lot of hats? Depending on the company and the position, a great candidate might end up as a toxic employee if the fit is all wrong. The video interview is the time to consider your company culture before you move forward with a job offer.Toxic employees can really hurt your company culture and with it, your business bottom line. But if you focus on hiring motivated employees and encourage workplace bonding youll be able to offset the bad vibes of even the most mopey Debbie Downer.What are some ways you maintain your company culture in the face of toxic employees? Share in the commentsIMAGE Courtesy of Flickr by ewanmcdowall